Right now, I’m in a house with 4 law students. They are drinking Starbucks coffee, with papers spread out around them like they are searching for a winning lottery ticket they know they bought, but misplaced.
I know the feeling. I used to be exactly the same way with my dating life. With EVERYTHING in life.
If you’re like most guys learning to improve their dating life, your life is probably crazy busy too. You’re probably running around frantically, trying to complete too many projects in too little time.
Maybe your plate is filled to the top with things to do, books to read, and the latest and greatest “attraction audios” just waiting for you to listen to them.
That’s OK. I’m not going to give you another checklist of things to do. I’m probably going to make things a whole lot simpler.
If you’re having a tough time attracting women, or you have so many boxes on your “mental checklist of attraction techniques,” then this article may help you slow down… and finally become successful.
Here is what this is about:
I want to teach you a DISCIPLINE. This is not a tactic. It’s not a “seduction super secret.” It’s simply a discipline that makes it about 100 times easier to talk to that lovely woman over there at the bar. That woman they’re all drooling over.
This little practice will probably astound your friends. It will DEFINITELY get you into some trouble (the good kind of trouble). And I want you to take it very lightly. This is important, but it’s not all that flashy or cool.
One of the guys I was mentoring told me that this one little “discipline” got him more sex in one week than he experienced in the previous few YEARS. He said he felt like the floodgates opened, and the girls just started showing up in his life, one after another.
Well, I want to clear something up, and it’s very important. It wasn’t the GIRLS that wershowing up in my client’s life… it was HIM.
This client of mine was no longer holding himself back by being nervous. He wasn’t worried. He wasn’t sweating anymore. He was actually feeling so good that his natural personality began to shine through, like a beacon in the night! And the women obviously noticed.
How To Approach Any Woman Anywhere
“Any time you see a gorgeous woman you want to meet, all you need to do is position yourself close enough to talk…(I pause)… and then RELAX.
You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do any thing.
Just position yourself near her, and RELAX. Just lean back. Forget about the woman beside you.
Forget about how bad you’d like to lick her body up and down. Just sit there and chill. Do you got that?”
“OK, now the next step is really simple too. Here it is: Just continue relaxing. Breathe steady, breathe strong, and really get comfortable.
If your friends are with you, talk to them but KEEP RELAXING. There is NOTHING to do. Do you get it?”
Client: “Yea, I just go up and relax.”
“That’s right. You just go up and relax. You go up and sit there.” (or if she is standing, you would go up and stand there)
Client: “OK….” I could tell he was wanting the next part…
“Now the next part is crucial. IF you feel like talking to the woman beside you, then all you need to do is RELAX… just relax…and talk to her from a place of calm STRENGTH. Can you feel that place of calm strength inside?”
Client: “Yea, I’ve been relaxing ever since you started talking about it. I’m actually feeling really good right now.”
“Right! And for the first time in your life you will actually be ABLE to talk to that beautiful woman beside you. You’re not frying your own circuits with the mental clutter you had before.”
Client: “Wow, I can feel that…” (he paused for a long minute and I could sense his doubt was coming up) “…but what if I don’t know what to talk about… or what if…”
“Wait.” I paused. “What do you think I’m going to tell you to do if you don’t know what to talk about?”
He took a moment… “I bet you’re going to tell me to relax.”
“That’s right! If YOU stay calm and cool, SHE will stay calm and cool… and then the magic happens.”
What magic was I talking about?
I’m glad you asked. I was talking about the magic that happens when you really begin to find your masculine STRENGTH inside. It’s a place of calm, like you’re in the eye of the storm.
And that’s a good metaphor: When it feels like things are getting too tense or crazy, then YOU get to bring your energy down to a calm, centered place of peace. Let all the other guys worry about what to say and do!
Now, there’s also something else that happens when you learn to relax around women.
You start to know what to do! I tell my coaching clients that the easiest way to know what to do next is to relax, open your eyes and ears to the woman in front of you, and begin to get CURIOUS about her.
Does she go to church? Which animals make her feel good? What memory from her childhood makes her smile?
When you get curious like this, and you’re relaxed enough to really listen to her, she will definitely feel connected.
Guess why that happens? Because you’ll really BE connected! Then you can take it wherever you want to go, powerfully. And the girl will be smiling all the way.
I’ll give you a couple ideas here: How bout gently taking her hand, so she knows you feel connected to her. How about leaning in and kissing her like you mean it. How about taking her hand and walking her out the door, to her place or yours…
When you come from a place of relaxation, your strength and confidence shines SO BRIGHT that you don’t even have to “run game” and it will be easier to meet girls”.
You just have to show up, relax, and trust that you can handle anything…. especially that sexy little girl in front of you.